I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
