I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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