All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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