worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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