i just had sex bonerless
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
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