i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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