Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize