You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
