By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
