So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
