I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
