I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
