He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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