hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
