i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
