I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
