I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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