scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
