I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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