i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
