Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
