I just threw up on my dentist
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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