Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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