I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
