Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize