yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
