he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize