we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
