so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
