Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
