when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
