I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
