Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize