I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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