guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
