He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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