Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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