my mouth tastes like poor choices
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
