So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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