what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
