So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Life without a bra equals bliss.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
