I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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