Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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