I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
