i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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