I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
