so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
