I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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