she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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