Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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