Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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