Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
