If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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