What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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