If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
