We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
