mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
