i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
