I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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