My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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