I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
