If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Operation Purity has been aborted
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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