Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
