your thong is hanging out like whoa
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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