Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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