1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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