The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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