We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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