just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Alive.
So much puke
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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