I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
