hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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