I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
