You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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