so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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