I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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