Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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