he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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